I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
