I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
