I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
