I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
