there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
