Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
