I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
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I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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