Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
