you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
