Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
