just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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