i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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