First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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