It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
