every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
