even my farts smell like vagina
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
