hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize