her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize