don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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