a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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