Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
