It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize