He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
