well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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