I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
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