How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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