We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize