I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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