Dual....:-)
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
