no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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