You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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