Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
