his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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