he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
