you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
