we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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