dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
