The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
