4 words: hood of his car
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
