Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
