The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
