brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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