WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
