I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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