I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
