cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
