I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Randomize
