Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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