is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
