You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
