U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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