idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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