I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
