Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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