Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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