i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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