Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
