Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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