my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I still have a little drunk in my system
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
