She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My breasts were aching with rage.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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