she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
