the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
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