I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize