I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
