I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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