You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
